Night troubles

So today I am serving it in raw pidgin —

I bin no wan talk about dis issue but I cannot fit hold my rage anymore. The FCT police command is a complete scam… pardon my English. These people are suppose to be fighting crimes but no, dem dey fight kunfu

Just some weeks back, I was on my way back from town. 11 PM on the dot.
Na dis Police man stop me. I am a law abiding citizen so i pulled up.

Okay, the next thing way him suppose to yarn nah…

“Where is your driver’s license…”

“Is your particulars up to date?”

“Show me your documents…”

But Oga get something else for mind. He look me…he look me like three times, come ask:

“Is this your car?”

“No, it’s not my car…it’s your own, ode,”

Well, I didn’t say this. Normally nah, as a law abiding citizen, I answered politely.

“It is oh, Sir…”

Is like him no believe me as him come move backwards, look the car, look the car again and come return and then him ask me the same question.

See, I suppose para…

“I look like thief for your eyes?”
“If you see thief, you no go know?”

Na Oga sef para. In fact I have committed an offense against the federal republic of Nigeria. Talking back at a police man in uniform, that’s offense number 1…

And offense number 2, driving a stolen vehicle in the middle of the night.

“Sir, pause for a minute, before you count plenty offense on top my head…”

“What’s your evidence that this is a stolen vehicle?”

“Am I resisting arrest?”

Na the next thing way fly out of him gutter mouth.

“Wait, as it gotten to this, am I under arrest?”

“Oya come down…”

The police man wan use him hand comot my head this time.

Hey, see me see trouble.

Okay, see I wan remove this law abiding citizen agbada throw for ground, what’ s all this harassment for?

But na him light me another slap for my eye. Come see stars for my red eyes…